My gentle girl Pumpkin passed away at the end of July of 2008. She was 15 years old.

I found her in a Mall pet shop in 1993, an 8 week old puppy suffering from worms, pneumonia, and anemia secondary to flea infestation. At the time, I was strictly a cat person. My heart went out to this tiny puppy. We went from the Mall directly to the Vet who told us she would not have lasted another 24 hours. I returned to the pet shop to complain about her condition; crassly, they offered to sell me flea spray! My Vet reported the Vet who had certified Pumpkin healthy puppy. People who traffic in baby animals ought to be punished severely.

I planned on placing her with a friend once she was healthy. It took several months for her to reach an age-appropriate weight. At night, she slept tucked under my sweatshirt . When I thought about giving her away I found myself listing all kinds of reasons why she should remain with me. That was the start of my absolute devotion to dogs. And the recognition that Pumpkin was a very special soul.

Pumpkin was kind and generous all the days of her life. When one of the other critters stuck their face in her food bowl - she'd woof! - then back off and allow them to eat her food. Never did she growl or snap at anyone or anything. Two winters ago, a starving cat happened upon our property. Pumpkin fussed until I went out in the dark to find the cat and bring her in. That was her way. Always opening her heart to others.

When she began drinking gallons of water a day, I hoped against hope that she was diabetic. Unfortunately, she had Cushing's. The Vet and I were very fortunate to get our hands on a European drug called Trilostane which had no side effects, yet acted to control the excess cortisol in Pumpkin's blood. However, it seemed that once we'd get one thing under control, another would arise. One night Pumpkin started to pace around and cry. She'd always been my canine vacuum cleaner. When she refused to eat, I knew she was in serious trouble. I was asked to make the hardest decision that any pet's parent will ever have to make. It was made out of love for her. I sure hope I did the right thing; I was not ready. I feel as though my heart's been ripped from my body.

As a young Catholic child I was taught there are no animals in "heaven." I recall deciding with the logic of an 8 year old that if my pets hadn't gone to heaven I had no interest in going there either. Since Pumpkin's passing I have been longing to see her again. If an afterlife exists it makes no sense to exclude animals. I'm not a religious person, nor do I hold out great hope for an afterlife. But, if there is a heaven, it was made for souls like Pumpkin.